Carlos, my brother, tells me that what got to him the most when he was a kid, was the words of my father. He would gladly undertake the put downs and recriminations of other relatives, rather that to put up with the haunting words of my father.

“It was his gentleness that did it” Carlos tells me. And having had the same experience, I agree with him. Nothing is more disarming than kindness.

Many scenes come to my mind. Like the day when we saw a kid playing his guitar in an amateur TV show. I had been learning the Classical style, and noticed that this kid had not taken any formal musical schooling. I also noticed that his guitar was not made of fine wood, and that its strings were old and faulty.

I went on with my list of all of the things that were wrong with this performer, and at one point began to laugh.

My father looked at me.

I stopped laughing.

When the kid was done playing his song, my father turned down the volume of the TV and began to speak.

“You know son” he said “I must have done something wrong.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Because I have tried to make of you an educated man, someone who uses his knowledge to help others and appreciate them more. In your case, your knowledge gives you a reason to look down on others, even make fun of them, like this kid. Here he is giving it his best. I can see his parents working hard, and still not being able to make ends meat. Yet, they get him a guitar, the best that they can afford, and try to help him become the artist he feels called to be. I see this kid who cannot afford to hire classical guitar teachers doing his best to discover the sounds that his heart wants to play. With many things against him, this kid goes on playing. And I can see his folks happy, seeing that their kid is there, on TV, playing for all of them.”

Then he said, “It saddens me son to find how you notice so much and still see so little.”

He waited a moment then turned up the volume of the TV.

The kid was going to play another song.

We sat in silence, and watched him play.

Half way through the song, the camera turned to the audience, and there we saw a couple holding hands in excitement, while the kid next to them was looking on with great pride at the performer. There was a clear resemblance between these kids, and I knew they were his family.

I wondered how in the world did my father know about their lives and efforts, and their love for each other. It was as if they where all part of a conspiracy just to show me the limitations of my judgmental self.

Still I felt my heart changing as I was becoming aware of what now I was seeing. All of a sudden I was sitting there, part of the family, cheering for one of my brothers. I could still see his faults, but they just made me appreciate more his courage.

My father noticed this shift in me and told me “That’s my son!”

I wonder where would I be without the temperance that my father brought into my life?

Words of power give us new eyes to see not only what is happing out there but also what is happening within ourselves. They change what we see and what we feel. Words of power bring us back to our humanity.